Rank em
Ladies and gentlemen,
I am proud to present the preseason power rankings for our canoe trip. I've assigned each team a preliminary ranking based on a variety of tests including but not limited to; skill, power, coolness, good lookingness, outdoor savvy, bench press, leg press, SAT score, and what they have done for me lately.
So here goes (by the way, im not sure if these duos are finalized or not, but I just threw a couple of teams together)
1) Pete and Jimmy - The clear cut favorite to win the championship. An unstoppable combination of strength and speed will easily push team PJ to the halls of greatness.
2) Taylor and Josh - A possible contender? Or a pretender? TJ has much to be answered for after the debacle that was whiffle ball last Saturday.
3) Chuck and Becca - New to the scene in '06, this surprising duo has the ability and know how to turn some heads this summer. Look for Charles' long buried hippiness to bring team CB into contention late into Sunday morning.
4) Scott and Ashley D - Hes the muscle, shes the brains. They've worked well together in the past and have the ability to really gel as a team. Then again, one puff of a cigarette could throw this team into dissaray.
5) Hayes and Kara - A strong pair still running off the fumes of their wedding. Their love is strong yet Hayes backstroke may be stronger. An under the radar duo, that could turn some heads come Sunday afternoon.
6) Chris and James - While they have the strength, it is yet to be determined if they have the will to work together. While James' head is surely to be set on winning the prize, Chris may be lost in a daydream about his job.
7) Nick and Ashley B - Pre-preliminary rankings had them as the strongest (and only) all woman team due to Ashley's home grown knowledge of the Saco (she was born and raised in Maine, home of the Saco). However, upon further inspection, it has been discovered that Nick is a serious liability. After Nick has 3 schmidt's gay, will we see happy, teamwork Nick, or angry, eff the world Nick? Miss Bond may want to switch Nick's Coors for O'douls.
8) Mike and Rachel - While Mike is as solid as an ox in water, his partner will have a tough time handling an oar twice her size. However, one cannot underestimate the power of having their first anniversary fall on day one of the trip. This could be a story for the ages....
9) Paul and Kristin - Paul could be the best paddler of the group, but will he get distracted? Will Kristin be able to reign the beast in and keep him focused for 2 days straight? I'm thinking probably not.... They are actually a dead on favorite to sink first.
10) Robbie and Headley - Lacking proper parental supervision, team "I live at home with my parents" may lack the discipline to make it past phase 1 of the trip. Combine this with the fact that we will probably have some beers and you have a debacle in the making. I have actually consulted with Jimmy on whether or not we should lash their canoe to ours. As we fear for their safety if they are left to themselves.
Well there you have it... All rankings are up for discussion but not change.
posted by Latimer @ 12:21 PM
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